BATMAN: THE KNIGHT SHIFT
by MuckrakerBat
Summary: The Gotham City Police Department honored the Caped Crusader by making him a fully deputized officer of the law. But will the burdens of the badge be too much for Batman?


BATMAN: THE KNIGHT SHIFT

[Editor's Note: This is an Elseworlds Batman story, written as if it were a comic book script. There are no images so you'll have to use your imagination, I tried to describe all of the pertinent action. Some background: In the 60s TV show, Batman was a fully deputized Gotham police officer, and in some earlier Golden Age comics he is an honorary GCPD officer, complete with a diamond-studded badge.]

Gothan, 1955

[The scene is bright and cheery, a mix of the Silver Age and the Adam West show. BATMAN, wearing his blue suit, is standing with ROBIN at a stage in a public ceremony with COMMISSIONER GORDON.]

COMMISSIONER GORDON: And, thanks to your cunning, daring and selfless actions to stop the Joker and Riddler's maniacal plot, Gotham is saved once again. We all owe you an immeasurable debt of gratitude.

And that's why, today, it is my distinct honor and pleasure to present Batman with this special Gotham City Police Department badge

[produces the Bat-shaped, diamond-studded platinum badge seen in the early Golden Age Batman comics]

and to make you and Robin fully deputized officers of the law. Batman, if you could raise your right hand, please.

BATMAN: Yes, sir.

GORDON: Do you solemnly swear you will protect the citizens of Gotham and the laws of this great city, state, and nation, with all of your heart, mind, and legal means at your disposal?

BATMAN: [close-up] I do.

* * *

Gotham, 1977.

[The look is much different now-darker, almost black-and-white, with bleached-out colors indicating the 70s. We're now inside GCPD, a messy, busy police office. CAPT HENDRICKS is showing EDELMAN around.]

HENDRICKS: So this is the detective's unit, as you see we keep things orderly and tidy.

EDELMAN: Yes.

HENDRICKS: As I'm sure you've been told, this ain't Chicago. We work a strict rotation here, with our homicide rate that will probably mean you catch one, two bodies a week. You're going to have to learn how to juggle cases.

EDELMAN: Of course.

HENDRICKS: Everyone gets assigned a partner, you work all of the cases together.

EDELMAN: What's his name?

HENDRICKS: I wish I knew.

Edelman, meet your new partner...Batman.

[BATMAN is hunched over his messy desk, leafing through a file. He's still wearing a blue suit, but this one is darker. He's older and in the Frank Miller mold, grimacing, joyless, with a world-weary face. He looks up but doesn't smile at EDELMAN.]

EDELMAN: It's...it's such a pleasure, sir.

[BATMAN shakes his hand and then goes back to his file.]

HENDRICKS: You got the Henderson report done yet?

BATMAN: Working on it.

HENDRICKS: Oh for God's sake this isn't Hamlet. I needed that yesterday.

BATMAN: He killed two people in broad daylight. What more do you need to know?

HENDRICKS: But they only charged him with tampering the scene. That gives them ten days to put together an indictment and if the ducks aren't in a row by then, we're all screwed. Just write it. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, Edelman, this is your desk. Good luck with this guy.

[HENDRICKS walks away.]

BATMAN: [looking up] You want to see the rest of the office?

[as they walk into a kitchen-type room.]

So here's the coffee, it's on the honor system. Make sure to leave money here for how much you drink.

EDELMAN: Man, I can't tell you how psyched I am to be your partner. You were one of them, right? From the Age of Capes? I mean, you're like the only one left.

BATMAN: That was a long time ago.

EDELMAN: Not *that* long. I remember watching the newsreels with my dad back in Central City. When Superman saved that boat, it-it's a big reason why I wanted to become a cop.

BATMAN: [As they walk through the office] Well he went back to his planet, or heaven, or wherever.

EDELMAN: Yeah, but what you guys stood for, what you fought for...

BATMAN: Yeah.

EDELMAN: Why do you do it? Why did you become a cop?

BATMAN: It's not important.

[BATMAN returns to his file. EDELMAN drinks his coffee.]

BATMAN: Ah-ha, happy day. [pulls paper from file.]

EDELMAN: What?

BATMAN: Got an address. You get to come with me for a field interview.

* * *

[As they walk to the parking lot.]

BATMAN: You're going to find out there's a lot of rules for working with me.

Rule number one-I always drive.

[They arrive at the Batmobile, parked along with police cars.]

[They drive through the city in the Batmobile]

BATMAN: So Edelman, is that...

EDELMAN: Yep. You're like the 10th person to ask.

BATMAN: You just don't see many on the force, is all. Most of you guys become lawyers.

EDELMAN: My dad was. I already applied to Gotham City Law night school. But I wanted to come at the law this way.

BATMAN: You might want to keep that to yourself.

EDELMAN: Sure.

BATMAN: I got a lot of respect for the Jewish faith. You people have been through hell and you still believe in the law and justice. That's just...unbelievable.

EDELMAN: I'd rather talk about something else.

BATMAN: I'd rather not talk at all.

EDELMAN: OK.

* * *

[They arrive at a high-rise project-type apartment building.]

EDELMAN: We're going in there?

BATMAN: You scared?

EDELMAN: No, I-

BATMAN: Just follow me.

[As they walk towards the entrance.]

BATMAN: This shit took over the streets about four years ago. I used to think the Joker was crazy.

This guy's just a street dealer.

[Residents nervously eye Batman but give him passage, they anxiously and silently ride the elevator. Then they're in an apartment building with a young black man wearing a wife-beater.]

BATMAN: Look, my captain doesn't give a crap about you. We're not even going after street dealers. But give me your supplier and you'll be on my list of friends.

DEALER: No way, man.

BATMAN: He'll never know it was you.

DEALER: That's not the kind of risk I'm gonna live with.

BATMAN: See, there, that's a bad kind of thinking, a-what's the phrase? My-epic-something?

EDELMAN: Myopic?

BATMAN: My man here. Yeah, myopic thinking. You stay focused on your mission, which-I admire that, even though I think your mission is crap. But every once in awhile you gotta stop, take a look around, re-evaluate things, see if there's a different way to look at the world.

You're worried about the risk your supplier finds out you narced. But that works both ways. What about the risk you don't help me? You wanna live with that risk?

DEALER: Go to hell.

[BATMAN turns off his wry grin and glares.]

BATMAN: [rushing towards him] What did you say?

[He grabs DEALER and flips him over the balcony, holding him up by his armpits.]

BATMAN: You're gonna give me the name!

[Other residents peer through the open door to see what's going on.]

EDELMAN: Batman, we need to leave.

BATMAN: This is your last chance!

EDELMAN: Now.

[BATMAN glares, helps DEALER back up onto his balcony.]

DEALER: You can't do that to me! I know my rights! This is some racial crap!

* * *

[BATMAN and EDELMAN are sitting in CAPT. HENDRICKS office, in front of his desk. He's pacing behind his chair.]

HENDRICKS: I know you don't give a flying rat's ass what I say, but I thought maybe, just maybe, the Supreme Court of the United #(*% # States could get it through that thick friggin mask of yours.

But no, of course no. With you, always no. You've taken 10 years off my life, for Chrissakes.

You can't put your hands on persons of interest anymore! Exactly how much litigation do you want to put this department through!?

[Putting his hands on his desk, then gesturing to the window.] It's been twenty years since you and Gordon ran this city. Take a look outside. This ain't your Gotham!

They don't want you here. I don't want you here. But as long as you're here you're gonna be useful to me if I have to break you in half. And the only possible way you could be of any possible, conceivable use to the department, the city of the world right now is to not leave this building and finish the #* *% Henderson #$*% # investigative #*% (# report!

Is that understood?

BATMAN: Yes. Sir.

* * *

[BATMAN and EDELMAN are sitting at their small desks which face each other. EDELMAN is filling out his HR paperwork while BATMAN is hunched over his typewriter. HENDRICKS walks over to them.]

HENDRICKS: Well it's your lucky day, Bats. Cartwright's out with the flu, you're on rotation. Got another body.

[BATMAN looks up from his typewriter.]

HENDRICKS: I'd tell you to wipe that grin off your face, but you're not going to be grinning when you find out who it is.

* * *

[EDELMAN and BATMAN are back in the Batmobile.]

BATMAN: Smith, Henry. Sanitation manager with the city.

EDELMAN: What's your background with him?

BATMAN: Sanitation's an old scam in this city, we tried to put together a case a few years ago. Smith was this close to turning, was going to give us the whole network. But he backed out at the last second. We didn't end up having anything to charge him with.

EDELMAN: You think they got rid of the threat?

BATMAN: I dunno. You kill all snitches, people shut up. You kill all witnesses, and they come running to us for protection. It doesn't make sense.

* * *

[EDELMAN and BATMAN are near the entrance of an outdoor city parking garage. EDELMAN is looking at the body while BATMAN sneaks a swig from a small flask, with a Batman symbol on it, from his utility belt.]

EDELMAN: Three shooters. Professional. You still think this wasn't a hit?

BATMAN: I never said it wasn't.

[Crouches near to the ground.]

BATMAN: Security guard says he saw nothing.

[EDELMAN looks up.]

EDELMAN: You notice those cameras?

BATMAN: I told you, the guard didn't see anything.

EDELMAN: Yeah, but maybe they got it on VCR.

BATMAN: What the hell's VCR?

[They're in the security room with SECURITY GUARD, looking at the 70's-era TV monitor.]

BATMAN: You didn't think to mention this?

GUARD: You didn't ask.

EDELMAN: These guys somehow knew exactly where to stand. This just gets shadows.

BATMAN: Wouldn't be hard to stake this place out, plan for that.

EDELMAN: Wait, pause it.

[The monitor freezes, showing the outline of a young man walking by the parking lot.]

EDELMAN: This guy's just walking by. Who is that?

BATMAN: Thank you, we'll be taking this. This is all we need.

* * *

[They're back in the Batmobile.]

EDELMAN: So who was that?

BATMAN: It's Marcus Cobblepot.

EDELMAN: You know where to find him?

BATMAN: Everyone knows where he lives.

Listen, just follow my lead on this. We've got to be careful.

Do you know what the Cobblepot name means in this town?

EDELMAN: Wasn't his dad-

BATMAN: Yeah, and Kennedy's father was a bootlegger. No one cares. He's Gotham royalty.

EDELMAN: OK.

You know, that's a myth.

BATMAN: What?

EDELMAN: Joseph Kennedy. He earned all of his money legally. In Boston they hated that this Irish guy was so powerful in politics so they made that bootlegging stuff up.

BATMAN: Edelman. Do you seriously think I give a crap?

EDELMAN: No, I just think it's interesting. Everyone loves rich people but they don't think much about where the money came from. Off the top of your head, do you know where the Kennedys actually made their money? Or the Waynes for that matter?

BATMAN: New rule. No talking in my car.

* * *

[BATMAN and EDELMAN arrive at COBBLEPOT's fancy apartment building, with a uniformed doorman.]

BATMAN: [To the doorman, as he walks by, peering at his nametag.] Mr...Jenkins, is it? We're with Gotham PD. We were wondering if you saw one of your residents, a Mr. Cobblepot, leave here around-

DOORMAN: Man, I didn't see shit.

EDELMAN: We just want to know if left today, maybe around noon?

[BATMAN glances up, sees security cameras on the lobby ceiling.]

DOORMAN: I just don't want any trouble.

BATMAN: Christ, are you kidding me man?

DOORMAN: Well I really don't remember, people come and go here all the time.

BATMAN: Whatever.

[BATMAN and EDELMAN walk towards the elevator.]

[BATMAN and EDELMAN are now in COBBLEPOT's apartment, overlooking Gotham Harbor. COBBLEPOT's in his early 20s, an aristocratic hipster look, who smokes a pipe.]

COBBLEPOT: I'm really sorry, officers, that I didn't report it. But that's not against the law.

BATMAN: Can you tell us anything at all about the perpetrators?

COBBLEPOT: Like I said, it was just a flash. I just wanted to get out of there.

BATMAN: You weren't running.

COBBLEPOT: I didn't want to get their attention.

BATMAN: And you were just walking by...from where?

COBBLEPOT: O'Hurley's on 12th Avenue.

BATMAN: And you were walking to-

COBBLEPOT: Here.

BATMAN: That's two miles.

COBBLEPOT: I was getting exercise.

BATMAN: Can you verify you were there?

COBBLEPOT: I paid in cash, didn't take a receipt.

BATMAN: Who was the bartender?

COBBLEPOT: It was early in the afternoon, I don't remember.

BATMAN: Well...thank you for your time, sir.

[EDELMAN and BATMAN leave. They chat as they walk to the Batmobile, parked in the street.]

EDELMAN: What does Cobblepot have to do with the sanitation scam?

BATMAN: Absolutely nothing.

EDELMAN: So what's their connection?

BATMAN: I have no idea. [looks at his watch.] It's 5 p.m., we're off the clock.

And I could use a drink.

* * *

[BATMAN, EDELMAN and three other detectives are sitting around a table at an Irish bar, beers in front of them all. The mood is jovial.]

EDELMAN: Uh, excuse me…

DETECTIVE #1, #2, and #3: Gesundheit!

DETECTIVE #1: Rabbi Edelman, can we help you?

EDELMAN: Putzes. Could I get another?

DETECTIVE #2: I dunno, let me see if they have any kosher beers.

EDELMAN: I think it's your round.

DETECTIVE #2: Jesus, you _are_ Jewish.

DETECTIVE #1: I think if you consult the 25th volume of the Talmud, you will see that Moses himself decreed, the new guy always buys.

EDELMAN: You are no mensch. [To waitress.] Another round of Buds!

DETECTIVE #1: So, it's time for you to learn the big secret. You just joined the biggest department of drunken screwups in the country. Congrats!

EDELMAN: Yeah, that's not such a secret.

DETECTIVE #2: Jim Gordon, man, he ran this place like it was the friggin Secret Service.

DETECTIVE #1: But his daughter...

DETECTIVE #3: Damn affirmative action hire, is what it is.

BATMAN: Actually it's not, affirmative action only applies to non-management positions and even then-

DETECTIVE #2: Please shut up.

DETECTIVE #1: Did you hear about the time Johnson here got called to the jury on the pimp whose head he busted in? Neither attorney objected!

DETECTIVE #3: I damn near voted to acquit, his lawyer was a whippersnapper.

DETECTIVE #1: And Schlecty here...

DETECTIVE #2: Oh God, not again.

DETECTIVE #1: He's trying to brace this mid-level guy's wife, get her to flip. He's pulling out all the stops, talking about taking her kids away, putting her in jail, everything.

And then he puts his hand on his holster, you know, like how they do on the shows?

DETECTIVE #2: Please stop.

DETECTIVE #1: And it goes off! Right in her kitchen. Blew a hole in the floor and busted some guy's TV in the apartment below. She blew a gasket, threatened to sue the department.

DETECTIVE #2: I had to file a damn use of force report. I think IAD has it framed somewhere.

BATMAN: Your finest hour.

DETECTIVE #1: You know Bats is the only detective in GCPD who doesn't carry a sidearm? Got a special order from the governor.

BATMAN: I've gotten the job done for 25 years.

DETECTIVE #1: Yeah, ask McCaffrey about that.

EDELMAN: McCaffrey?

DETECTIVE #2: Seriously...

DETECTIVE #1: Wait, you don't know? They didn't tell you? You don't know why you're here, why you got assigned to him?

EDELMAN: Uh, no?

DETECTIVE #1: Christ.

Bats' last partner. They had to follow a warrant. Just a normal drug case. Following up on a possible supplier. But turned out the guy had three bodies, competitors. Comes out shooting. Bats gets him, but not before his lucky shot.

You know, you didn't sign up for shark-hunting on Martha's Vineyard. We're all putting it on the line every day in the city with the highest crime rate in the U S of A. And the only thing we've got is that we know a good man is backing us up.

BATMAN: You got something you wanna say? Say it.

DETECTIVE #1: He can't quite put it all on the line. He's not man enough to make the choice. He just lets others make it. With their lives.

And what about your first partner, he-

BATMAN: [standing up and hitting his hands to the table.] DON'T YOU DARE!

DETECTIVE #2: Gentlemen, gentlemen, I think the libations have been flowing a little too copiously tonight.

Check, please?

This man's been there for Gotham for 30 years. You got legit beefs, but you want to settle them, you gotta go through me first.

So let's just go home.

* * *

[BATMAN drives his Batmobile back to the Batcave, takes the elevator up to his mansion. The mansion looks different-built up with unopened boxes, files all throughout the family room. Bruce isn't exactly a horder, but it's clear that Alfred is no longer there to keep things tidy. This is the first time we see Batman without his mask on, as he takes off his cape & cowl and relaxes in a master chair, reading a file marked "Henderson."]

* * *

[It's the next morning. EDELMAN arrives, looking hung-over, to find BATMAN already at his desk, pouring over papers.]

EDELMAN: Oh my God. My head's in a vice. How did you get here so early?

[BATMAN continues reading.]

BATMAN: I woke up and got in my car.

EDELMAN: Have you found anything?

BATMAN: Nothing. Sanitation's quiet. Smith has done absolutely nothing to shake things up or piss anyone off. Not even a hint of something that would be worth killing over.

EDELMAN: Maybe it's like, a rival family? Someone looking to take over organized crime in the city?

BATMAN: You wouldn't start with nickel-dime BS, you'd start with the drugs. That's the big money-maker in this town now.

[As EDELMAN sits down.]

BATMAN: Don't get too comfortable, we're going out soon.

EDELMAN: To talk to who?

BATMAN: His daughter.

* * *

[Now BATMAN and EDELMAN are walking up towards a normal-looking street-level apartment.]

BATMAN: Dorothy Smith. This is his only family. His wife divorced, left town, changed her name.

[They knock on the door and it opens. DOROTHY SMITH opens the door. She's young with black hair, looking sullen as if she had been crying. But she also has bruises on her left cheek & forehead.]

DOROTHY: Please come in.

[As BATMAN and EDELMAN enter.]

BATMAN: Maam, we are very, very sorry for your loss.

DOROTHY: Thank you. Would you like some coffee?

BATMAN: No, thank you.

EDELMAN: Please.

[As DOROTHY heads to the kitchen, BATMAN takes a look at her walls. He notices areas which appear to have been recently uncovered and nails in the wall, as if someone had just taken down pictures.]

BATMAN: So we just have some standard questions we need to ask, I'm sure you understand. I'm sorry I have to do this while you're grieving, but it's necessary to find the people responsible for your father's death.

DOROTHY: [From the kitchen] Of course.

BATMAN: Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary lately? Cars outside the apartment, breathing on the other line, someone calling and then hanging up?

DOROTHY: No, absolutely not. [Hands EDELMAN coffee.]

BATMAN: Can you think of anyone your father might have upset, any disputes he was having at all?

DOROTHY: No. He was just a quiet city worker, he didn't bother anybody.

EDELMAN: What happend to your face?

[BATMAN looks slightly annoyed.]

DOROTHY: I took the news kind of badly, lost my balance.

EDELMAN: Did you go to the emergency room?

DOROTHY: No, it's just a bruise.

[BATMAN looks across a bureau. He notices a small box of pipe cleaners.]

BATMAN: Is there anyone else we should contact? Any friends or family in the city?

DOROTHY: His drinking buddy, Earl Frederick, a traffic cop. I assume you know how to get in touch with him.

BATMAN: Of course, maam. Here's my card. [Hands card with a little bat-symbol on it.] Please get in touch with us if you can think of anything else.

[As BATMAN and EDELMAN walk to the Batmobile parked on the street.]

EDELMAN: Tell me you saw that. Tell me you saw that.

BATMAN: Pipe cleaners.

EDELMAN: You think they were for school, like for a kid?

BATMAN: She didn't have a kid.

EDELMAN: Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with sanitation after all.

BATMAN: He roughed her up. She told her dad.

EDELMAN: You think he's the vengeful type?

BATMAN: They weren't going to wait around to find out.

EDELMAN: He screws it up by watching the hit to make sure it went down. He wasn't supposed to get caught on camera.

BATMAN: He probably wasn't even supposed to be there.

[As they walk into the Batmobile.]

EDELMAN: Take me back to Cobblepot's place.

BATMAN: We're not interviewing him again.

EDELMAN: I don't want to.

BATMAN: You think there's a witness?

EDELMAN: We both know there was.

BATMAN: Fine.

[He starts driving.]

BATMAN: He's not going to tell bupkis.

EDELMAN: He doesn't have to.

[A pause.]

EDELMAN: Seriously, how do you not know about CCTV? Weren't you some technological wizard back in the day?

BATMAN: I didn't see any cameras.

EDELMAN: Well let's find out.

* * *

[They approach the DOORMAN on the street.]

EDELMAN: Hey listen, pal. We wouldn't come back here unless this was some deep shit. You don't want trouble, but you got it either way. You'll have less of it unless you cooperate.

You don't gotta tell us anything. Just gimme a date, and let me in there. [Points to building office.]

DOORMAN: A date for what?

EDELMAN: You know what.

[They're watching a small TV screen in the building office.]

BATMAN: You sure you want to do this Edelman?

EDELMAN: Huh?

BATMAN: Never mind, go ahead.

[They watch and see a video of COBBLEPOT and DOROTHY in the lobby, apparently arguing. COBBLEPOT hits her. BATMAN and EDELMAN stare.]

* * *

[They're walking towards the Batmobile. EDELMAN is excited while BATMAN is expressionless.]

EDELMAN: We got him!

I mean, I know there's not enough to link him to the murder yet, but we can bring him in right now. And there's that law, I read about that new law that says we don't need a complaint to arrest on a domestic.

[As they walk into the Batmobile.]

EDELMAN: I'm calling it in.

BATMAN: No, you're not.

The punk's not worth it.

EDELMAN: The hell he's not-

[BATMAN slams EDELMAN against the car window.] HE'S NOT WORTH IT. I'm telling you, they don't want to arrest a Cobblepot. You arrest him and you're finished.

EDELMAN: You're saying they won't indict?

BATMAN: Of course they will. You arrest and it'll force their hand. They'll throw everything they can at him and he'll say shit and his $100-an-hour lawyer from Dent & Jones will still eviscerate it all. He'll get the video thrown out, chain of custody or some bull.

And then you get the label, troublemaker. A little red marker on your file. Every report, every review, every arrest - they'll comb it over for mistakes and trust me, they'll find them. They'll own you. I've seen them take down guys ten times better than you.

I know it feels like it's worth it, but it's not. It's not worth it to be a crusader. I've got a lifetime of mistakes you can learn from, kid. Take your time. Pick your battles. You wanna die on every hill? You die. For real. Inside.

[Close-up on BATMAN] And not just because of them.

[Batman turns the car on and starts driving.]

BATMAN: We'll figure out a way to work the case from the other end, maybe we'll get something.

* * *

[EDELMAN and BATMAN are back at their desks, in silence. They're not exactly staring at each other but neither is pretending to work.]

[EDELMAN's phone rings.]

EDELMAN: Yeah?

Got it.

[To BATMAN] They got her.

Coming out of a movie. 300 MLK.

[BATMAN grips his right hand into a fist, but says nothing.]

* * *

[They arrive at the Monarch Theater it's night now. "Star Wars" is playing. DOROTHY has been killed in an alleyway nearby.]

[We see EDELMAN and Batman from behind, looking at her as the technicians cover her with a body bag. EDELMAN takes a smoke.]

EDELMAN: Wanna bet we'll find pipe ash around here?

[BATMAN just stares.]

BATMAN: This alley...

[We see them from a long angle looking forward, revealing the alley to be Crime Alley, where his parents were killed decades ago.]

EDELMAN: What about it?

BATMAN: I can't remember. Something. Maybe one of my first cases.

[They both stare down the alley again.]

The End.


End file.
